Diary of a Wimpy Kid2010

[Heffley garage, Rodrick and his bandmates are performing]

Susan:
[walks in] Rodrick. Rodrick! I need to talk to you. Inside, now.

[Greg peeks from behind the door as he watches]

Rodrick:
Go ahead and talk. We're a band. We have no secrets.

Susan:
Oh, okay. Fine. [holds up the magazine] What is this?

Rodrick:
It's not mine.

Susan:
It was in your backpack.

Rodrick:
No, it was in my room.

Susan:
[gives Rodrick a "Really?" look] Does owning this magazine make you a better person?

Rodrick:
No.

Susan:
Did it make you more popular at school?

Rodrick:
[snickers] Yes. No.

Susan:
How do you feel about having owned this type of magazine?

Rodrick:
Ashamed.

Susan:
Do you have anything you wanna say to women for having owned this offensive magazine?

Rodrick:
I'm sorry, women.

[Rodrick's bandmates clap in applause]

Susan:
You're grounded...for two weeks.

[Greg smiles and leaves to his room]

Rodrick:
Okay, settle down, Susan. I think one week is plenty.

Susan:
Make it four weeks, and I'm gonna need the keys to your van.

Rodrick:
[shocked through gritted teeth] My van?!