In the Loop2009

Karen Clark:
I e-mailed my resignation five minutes ago. And yours should come pretty soon, for the biggest media impact.

General Miller:
I've been thinking.

Karen Clark:
Yeah?

General Miller:
This has been the hardest political decision of my career. I'm not going to resign.

Karen Clark:
Huh? What the f***, George?

General Miller:
Before the war, I was going to resign. But now that there's a war on... I can't resign.

Karen Clark:
You said that this was intolerable. You said we would go together.

General Miller:
It is intolerable, but I'm going to have to tolerate it. And I still agree with myself on that. But my loyalty is to the kids—I am a soldier.

Karen Clark:
You're not a soldier.

General Miller:
...I've been a soldier my whole life! What do you mean I'm not a solider? I'm a soldier! Look at the uniform—what do you think, I'm one of the Village people?

Karen Clark:
When did you shoot a guy last?

General Miller:
What, just because I haven't shot someone in fifteen years I'm not a soldier? You know, the Army doesn't make you drag some bullet-ridden, bloody corpse into the Pentagon every five years to renew you "soldier's licence"!

Karen Clark:
It's unnecessary!

General Miller:
So what?!

Karen Clark:
And if you were a good general, you'd have some balls!

General Miller:
Look, shut up about my balls. My balls have been around, you have no idea where my balls have been!

Karen Clark:
I can talk about your balls all I want, 'cause I remember when—

General Miller:
Oh, I f***ed you once twenty years ago AND I NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT! EVERY TIME WE'RE TOGETHER I'VE GOTTA TO LISTEN TO THIS SH*T! I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT!

Karen Clark:
Come on, Chad. We have to draft resignation announcements.

Chad:
Actually, Miss Clark, I think I might stay with the General, if that's okay. If he's staying I might stay with him, see what assistance I can furnish.

Karen Clark:
Okay... General Shrek and his faithful talking donkey.

General Miller:
(to Chad) What do you need to stick around for?!

Chad:
Well, I just want to let you know, sir, that I think you've got... big balls, it's like... two-thirds of a snowman.

General Miller:
Dear God.