Scream2022

[The phone rings. Tara Carpenter answers it]

Tara:
Hello?

Ghostface:
Hello. [speaking in the manner and tone of a slightly nervous man] Is Christina there?

Tara:
No, she's not available. May I take a message?

Ghostface:
Uh, yeah, um...yeah, sorry. I'm a friend of hers from group...oh, sh*t!

Tara:
"From her sh*t?"

Ghostface:
Um, look, just, uh, tell her I'm from group. I'm Charlie. She's got my number.

Tara:
Oh, she goes to your group?

Ghostface:
I shouldn't have...um, just tell her that Charlie called.

Tara:
And I will do exactly that, Charlie. Why don't you tell me what kind of group we're talking about? Is it A&A? NA?

Ghostface:
Well, you sound exactly like she describes you.

Tara:
Uh, she talks about me in group?

Ghostface:
Uh, I don't think I can really talk about that.

Tara:
What does she say about me?

Ghostface:
Well, she loves you very much.

Tara:
Oh, what does she love about me?

Ghostface:
Uh, okay, well, she loves that you're creative. You love art and TV and movies.

Tara:
Okay, well, lots of people love movies.

Ghostface:
Yeah, but she says you love scary movies, and that you guys have that in common. She's proud of making a fan out of you.

Tara:
She is?

Ghostface:
Yeah. She told me the other day, she wonders... [Speaks in his normal tone] What's your favorite scary movie?

Tara:
Uh, The Babadook. It's an amazing meditation on motherhood and grief.

Ghostface:
[chuckles] Isn't that a little...fancy-pants?

Tara:
Well, it's elevated horror.

Ghostface:
Uh-huh. Uh, what does that mean? "Elevated horror"?

Tara:
You know, it's like scary, but with complex, emotional and dynamic underpinnings. It's not just some schlocky, cheeseball nonsense with wall-to-wall jump scares.

Ghostface:
Hmm. That sounds kind of boring to me. Have you ever seen "Stab"?

Tara:
Once, I think. I was a little girl. I was, like, 12.

Ghostface:
You live in Woodsboro, and you don't know "Stab"? Well, your mom loves that movie. She talks about it all the time in group. How well do you remember the original?

Tara:
I don't know. I mean, it's, like, super-90s. It was really over-lit and everyone had weird hair.

Ghostface:
Uh-huh. Do you remember the beginning?

Tara:
Not really. It started with a kill scene, right? They always started with a kill scene.

Ghostface:
Yeah, that's right. That's right. It's a girl at home, alone. She answers the wrong number and starts talking with the killer, who makes her play a game. [beat] Would you like to play a game...Tara?

[Becoming uneasy, Tara hangs up and uses her phone to lock the doors. She sends a message to her friend Amber before closing the curtains. Another phone rings, and Amber sends a message telling Tara to answer the phone. When Tara questions that how does Amber know this, she gets a reply that says, "This isn't Amber", and then more replies demanding her to answer the phone. Scared, Tara answers the phone]

Tara:
This isn't f***ing funny, Amber!

Ghostface:
I told you. This isn't Amber. [Tara sees a video message on her phone, revealing Amber being filmed at her bedroom] Amber's looking particularly fetching tonight. She really shouldn't leave her phone lying around for anyone to clone.

Tara:
What do you want?

Ghostface:
I told you. I wanna play a game. "Stab" movie trivia. Three rounds. You call the cops, she dies. You get a question wrong, she dies. Her parents aren't at home. I can be in that room in, like, 15 seconds. You want a warm-up question?

Tara:
[crying] I told you, I don't know about any of these movies! Ask me about something I do know! Ask me about It Follows! Ask me about Hereditary! Ask me about The Witch!

Ghostface:
In the first "Stab" movie, what Woodsboro name was introduced as the franchise's main character?

Tara:
It's Sidney Prescott! It's Sidney Prescott, and she lived on Elm.

Ghostface:
Correct! You see? You're gonna do great at this. Okay, Question 1.

Tara:
No, no, no, no, no! I got that one right! It should count!

Ghostface:
Anyone could've gotten that one right. Sidney's in every movie but the last one. Question 1: Who wrote the original book that the "Stab" movies are based on?

Tara:
Um...um...that chick from TV.

Ghostface:
"That chick from TV" is not gonna cut it, Tara.

Tara:
Oh, Gale Weathers! It is Gale Weathers, you motherf***er!

Ghostface:
Correct. Amber might live to see the sunrise. Question 2: Who played the dumb b*tch at the beginning of "Stab 1", who answers the phone and gets carved up by the killer?

Tara:
F*** you!

Ghostface:
Is that the answer you're going with? [Tara whimpers and checks the information on her phone] A non-answer counts as a wrong answer, Tara. Time's running out. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

Tara:
Heather Graham!

Ghostface:
Correct! You pulled that one out. Now for the final question: Who was the killer in "Stab 1"?

Tara:
Oh, I know this one, you f***! It's Billy Loomis! It's Billy Loomis, and he was Sidney's boyfriend, and he was played by Luke Wilson, and I got you, you a**hole! I got it! I got it right!

Ghostface:
Oh, I'm sorry, Tara, but that's just not correct.

Tara:
What? No, no, no, no, no! It is! It is! That is right!

Ghostface:
The correct answer is Billy Loomis...and Stu Macher. There are two killers in the original "Stab". I'm afraid someone's got to die now.