The Shivering Truth2018

Elderly Woman:
How are you? Are you seeing anyone, dear?

Operator:
I'm married.

Elderly Woman:
Oh, that's nice. D-Does he hit you?

Operator:
No. Not at all. Is that what happened to you? Did your husband hit you?

Elderly Woman:
Oh, no. I'm never married. I didn't want any trouble anyone. It's just me and the cats.

Operator:
Okay, if you're lonely, I can transfer you to elderly services --

Elderly Woman:
Elderly?! Good heavens! I'm 24! Do I sound elderly to you?

Operator:
No! I just thought with the cats --

Elderly Woman:
Oh, a young woman can't keep a few dozen cats. I get it. Good one. You got me. Really tore me down good.

Operator:
No, I didn't mean to --

Elderly Woman:
[voice breaking] If you're done having your fun, then why don' you go back to your fancy husband, who doesn't hit you for some strange reason?

Operator:
Ma'am.

Elderly Woman:
It's fine. The cats have eaten most of my body now. I didn't want to be any trouble, and I don't have the heart to shoo them off, so...they're really digging in.

Operator:
Okay, I'm sending animal control out now.

Elderly Woman:
But what will the kitties eat?

Operator:
Someone will be there within the hour.

Elderly Woman:
They've eaten up to my throat. I'm inside them now. I live through them. One in flesh, one in soul, one in -- Meow.