Despicable Me 22013

Gru:
[falsetto] It is I, Gru... Zinkerbell, the most magical fairy princess of all! And I am here to wish Princess Agnes a very happy birthday! [throws a handful of fairy dust]

Little Girl:
[raises her hand] Why are you so fat?

Gru:
Because… my house is made of candy, and sometimes, I eat instead of facing my problems!

Little Girl:
How come you have... [Gru blows some fairy dust in her face; coughs]

Gru:
[normally] Okay, time for cake!

[All children, except Agnes, run to the table]

Agnes:
Thank you, Gruzinkerbell. You’re the best fairy princess ever.

Gru:
[falsetto] You are welcome, little girl.

Agnes:
[runs off, but quickly returns; whispering] I know it’s really you, Gru. I’m just pretending for the other kids.

[Gru happily sees her running off, until he is approached by Jillian]

Jillian:
Hey there, Gru, Mr. Life of the Party!

Gru:
[attempts a smile; normally] Hello, Jillian.

Jillian:
So, I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but my friend Natalie is recently single, and... [Natalie falls down]

Gru:
No, no, no. Get off the limb right now. No limb.

Jillian:
Oh, come... she’s a riot. She sings karaoke, she has a lot of free time, looks aren’t that important to her...

Gru:
No, Jill’s, that is not happening. Seriously, I’m fine.

Jillian:
[calling after him] Okay, fine. Forget Natalie. How about my cousin Linda?

Gru:
[passes by Margo and Edith] No.

Jillian:
Oh, oh! I know someone whose husband just died... [gets sprayed by Gru's garden hose]

Gru:
[dryly] I'm sorry. I did not see you there. [sprays her again] Or there. [drops the hose and walks away holding the palette, chuckling softly]