Despicable Me 22013

Silas:
Good afternoon, Mr. Gru.

Gru:
[weakly] Yeah...

Silas:
I apologize for our methods of getting you there.

Lucy:
I don't! I'd do it again in a heartbeat! And I am not gonna lie, I enjoyed that. Every second of it. Gave me a bit of a buzz, actually...

Silas:
[interrupts Lucy] That's enough, Agent Wilde.

Lucy:
Sorry, sir.

Gru:
Okay, this is bogus! I don't know who you people think you are, but...

Silas:
We are the Anti-Villain League. An ultra-secret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale. Rob a bank? We're not interested. Kill someone? Not our deal. But if you want to melt the polar ice caps? Or Vaporize Mount Fuji? Or even steal the moon? Then we notice.

Gru:
First of all, you got no proof that I did that. Second, after I did do that, I put it back!

Silas:
We're well aware of that, Mr. Gru. That's why we brought you here. I am the league's director, Silas Ramsbottom.

Stuart:
[smirks] Bottom. [starts laughing along with Phil]

Silas:
[unamused] Hilarious. Agent Wilde...

Lucy:
Oh, me now? Um, recently an entire top secret lab disappeared from the Artic Circle. Yeah, the entire lab. Just whoosh. Voom. Gone. Where did it go?

Gru:
I don't care.

Lucy:
Hmm, the lab was devoted to experiments involving PX-41. A transmutation serum. What is PX-41, you ask? Mmm, It's pretty bad... Look.

[One of the scientists on the monitor injects a bunny with PX-41 serum. The mutated bunny then attacks the scientist, threatening to kill him]

Gru:
Huh, you usually don't see that in bunnies.

Silas:
As you can see, in the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum, could be the most devastating weapon on Earth. Fortunately, it has a very distinct chemical footprint. And, using our latest chem tracking technology, we have found traces of it in Paradise Mall.

Gru:
[scoffs] A mall?

Silas:
Precisely. And we believe one of these shop owners is a master criminal. And that's where you come in. As an ex-villain, you know how a villain thinks, how a villain acts.

Lucy:
The plan is to set you up undercover at a shop in the mall where hopefully...

Gru:
Okay! I see where this is going, with all the Mission Impossible stuff, but no. No! I'm a father now. And a legitimate business man. I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies.

Silas:
[laughs mockingly] "Jams and jellies"?

Gru:
Oh, attitude! That's right! So thanks, but no thanks. [pauses] And here's a tip: Instead of tazing people and kidnapping them, maybe you should just give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt!

Silas:
[calmly] Ramsbottom.

Gru:
[chuckles; sarcastically] Yeah, like that's any better.