Despicable Me 22013

Gru:
Hey, Tim! Nice haircut! Donny, hang in there, baby! It’s almost Friday. [high-fives Donny before as he approaches Dr. Nefario] So, how’s today batch, Doctor Nefario?

Dr. Nefario:
I’ve developed a new formula which allowed me to get every known kind of berry into one flavor of jelly.

Gru':
[sticks his finger in and tastes the goo; disgusted] That tastes good... [gags] Love the flavor of that...

Dr. Nefario:
It’s horrible, isn’t it?

Gru:
No! No! Oh, we're making great progress! [to the Minions] Here, try some of this. [hands the jar to a Minion, who tastes it but gags, handing it over to another, who tastes it and scrapes the jelly off his tongue before smashing the jar and all Minions run away] Whoa... okay, just because everybody hates it doesn’t mean it’s not good.

Dr. Nefario:
Listen, Gru. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about for some time now.

Gru:
What? What’s wrong?

Dr. Nefario:
[clears his throat] I miss being evil. Sinister plots, large-scale crimes... It's what I live for! I mean, don’t you think, that there’s more to our future than jelly?

Gru:
Well... [delighted] I’m also considering a line of jams...

Dr. Nefario:
Um...the thing is, Gru... [takes a deep breath] I’ve had an offer of employment elsewhere.

Gru:
[pauses; smug] Dr. Nefario! Come on, you’re kidding, right?

Dr. Nefario:
[presses a button, folding his inventory into a suitcase] It’s a great opportunity for me, bigger lab, more evil, full dental...

Gru:
[stares back at his old friend and sighs; calmly] Very well. Let us give you the proper send-off. [calls his henchmen off-screen] Minions! [seven Minions walk in, each carrying a fart gun; solemnly] The highest honor awarded to Dr. Nefario for your years of service – the 21 Fart Gun salute!

Minion:
Buado! [seven fart guns are fired] Buado! [seven fart guns are fired] Buado! [seven fart guns are fired]

Dr. Nefario:
[coughs as the fart blows past him] Uh, I counted 22. [he and Gru look at Dave, who laughs embarrassedly]