Despicable Me 32017

[In Paris, a luxury car stops outside the museum. A guard opens the door and a giant chubby man squeezes out of the car. The doors burst open as the man enters]

Museum Director:
Monsieur Pompeux!

[The museum director kisses Pompeux's cheeks]

Museum Director:
So, what do we owe the presence of the world's foremost gem expert?

Pompeux:
The chief of police sent me. He was censored that during the recent heist attempt, the Dumont Diamond was replaced with a phony.

[The museum director and his friends gasp. Pompeux enters a room where the Dumont Diamond sits on a pedestal surrounded by lasers. Pompeux snaps his fingers causing the lasers to turn off, examines the diamond with a jewelers loop, sniffs it with his nose, then licks it with his tongue.]

Pompeux:
Ooh-la-la! You have been duped!

Museum Director:
What?! We have?

Pompeux:
Yes. By me!

[Darts fire from the loop, knocking out 5 guards]

Museum Director:
What? What is…?

[A rubber mask of Pompeux's head gets tossed into the museum director's face. He removes it then gasps]

Museum Director:
Oh, no! Help!

[Just as the museum director runs, a 6th dart strikes his butt and he collapses on the floor. The costume of Pomepeux's body starts to shake as Bratt gets out of it.]

Bratt:
[laughing evilly]

[Bratt hits play on a portable cassette player which Take on Me by A-ha plays. A grappling hook fires from the player, crashing through a glass dome in the ceiling, then pops into a disco ball. Bratt attaches the player to his belt, then laughs as he grabs the diamond.]

Bratt:
I've been a bad boy! Or should I say, Je suis un mauvais garçon!

[Bratt laughs as he disappears]