How the Grinch Stole Christmas2000

Grinch:
[trying to drown out the Whos' singing, turns on a giant mechanical Jolly Chimp with cymbals] Play, monkey! Play! Play, play, play! [He rides a jackhammer while vocalizing; he soon wipes out] OWWIEE!!

Cindy:
[knocks on the door] Mr. Grinch? [knocks on the door again] Mr. Grinch! [opens Max's doggie door] Hello? [crawls into the Grinch's cave; she finds him standing with his head in the path of the Jolly Chimp's cymbals, yelling gibberish each time they hit his head. Taps his shoulder] Excuse me?

Grinch:
Hmm? [He sticks his head out and grabs the Jolly Chimp's cymbals; the Jolly Chimp short-circuits and it's motor slowly powers down; turns slowly to Cindy with a furious look as the monkey's motor stops] Hello... little girl. [bellows] HOW DARE YOU ENTER THE GRINCH'S LAIR?! THE IMPUDENCE! THE AUDACITY! THE UNMITIGATED GALL! You've called down the thunder. Now, get ready... FOR THE BOOOOOOM! Gaze into the face... of fear. BOOGA-BOOGA!

Cindy:
[calmly, and not scared] Mr. Grinch, my name is Cindy Lou Who.

Grinch:
[thinking he's scaring Cindy] You see? Even now the terror is welling up inside you.

Cindy:
I'm not scared.

Grinch:
Denial is to be expected in the face of pure evil. [He makes psychotic growling noises]

Cindy:
I don't think so!

Grinch:
Doubt?! Another unmistakable sign of the heebie-jeebies! Now, you're doomed. [He jumps out of frame, then jumps back in wearing a white t-shirt and making animalistic noises, ripping the shirt apart] RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, BEFORE I KILL AGAIN! [howls] I'm a psycho. [He growls, puts a shirt in his mouth, spits it out, jumps around Cindy Lou frantically] Danger, danger! [He repeatedly growls, but suddenly stops as he is out of breath]

Cindy:
Um... maybe you need a time-out. [giggles after the Grinch looks dumbfounded]

Grinch:
[aside, to the camera; breaking the fourth wall again] Kids today. So desensitized by movies and television. (Anyway...) [to Cindy; bellows] WHAT DO YOU WANT?! [echoes]

Cindy:
Mr. Grinch, I came to invite you... to be Holiday Cheermeister.

Grinch:
Uh... "Holiday" who-bie what-ie?

Cindy:
Cheermeister. (See?)

Grinch:
Huh? "(Cordially invites you to be our Holiday) Cheermeister( at the Who Whobilation 1,000 celebration). Celebrate (and dine) with friends( at 7:30pm)." [laughing raucously] AAH!! That's a good one. [wheezes]

Cindy:
[following him] I know you hate Christmas, but what if it's all just a misunderstanding?

Grinch:
Don't care.

Cindy:
I mean, I myself am having some Yuletide doubts. [Grinch makes snoring noises] But maybe if you can reunite with the Whos and be a part of Christmas...

Grinch:
[mimics Cindy in a nasally voice] "Maybe if you can reunite with the Whos and be a part of Christmas--" [normal voice] Grow up!

Cindy:
...then maybe it'll be all right for me, too!

Grinch:
I'm sorry, your session is over. Please make another appointment with the receptionist on the way out.

Cindy:
Please, please! You have to accept the award!

Grinch:
[gasps; stops in surprise] "Award"? [rapidly grabs and dips Cindy attentively] You never mentioned... an award.

Cindy:
Yeah, with a trophy and everything.

Grinch:
And I won?

Cindy:
You won!

Grinch:
That means there were losers.

Cindy:
I guess. So, if you come--

Grinch:
[gleefully] A town full of losers! I like it! Was anyone... emotionally shattered? Come on! A minute ago, I couldn't shut you up! Details, details!

Cindy:
Well, the Mayor wasn't happy.

Grinch:
[mock gasp] Oh, no.

Cindy:
[smiling] Martha May will be there.

Grinch:
[smiling back] Oh, she will?

Cindy:
[nodding] Mm-hm.

Grinch:
And she'll see me. A winner. [Cindy nods again] She'll be on me like Fleegle flies on a flat-faced floogle horse! [dramatically] WELL, I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, MARTHA BABY, BUT THE G-TRAIN HAS LEFT THE STATION!

Cindy:
So will you come?

Grinch:
[shrugging] Oh, alright. (I'll think about it.)

[Cindy giggles]

Grinch:
[leading her to the front door, acting happy] I don't know if it's that adorable twinkle in your eye, or that nonconformist streak that reminds me of a younger less hairy me, but (maybe) you've convinced me! Who knows? This Whobilation could change my entire outlook on life!

Cindy:
Really?

Grinch:
[grumpy again] No(, but I'll still think about it). [pulls a rope, opening up the garbage chute beneath her and sending her back to Whoville]