Idiocracy2006

Narrator:
As the 21st century began... human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest... the fastest reproduced in greater numbers than the rest... a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man... now began to favor different traits. The Joey Buttafuoco case-- Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized... and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd... it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most... and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.

...

[Trevor and Carol, an upper middle-class couple on the couch]

Trevor:
Having kids is such an important decision.

Carol:
We're just waiting for the right time. It's not something you want to rush into, obviously.

...

[Clevon and Trish, a working class couple in the kitchen]

Trish:
[Reading pregnancy test stick] No way. Oh, sh*t, I'm pregnant again!

Clevon:
Sh*t! I got too many damn kids! I thought you was on the pill or some sh*t!

Trish:
Hell, no!

Clevon:
Sh*t! I must've been thinkin' of Brittany.

Trish:
[Throws slipper and lunges at Clevon] Brittany?! No, you didn't!

...

Carol:
There's no way we could have a child now.

Trevor:
Mm-mm.

Carol:
Not with the market the way it is, no.

Trevor:
God, no. That just wouldn't make any sense.

...

[Trish is arguing with duplex neighbor; Trish]

Trish:
Come on over here, b*tch! He don't care about you!

Brittany:
Yeah?! Well, there must be somethin' he likes over here! [Trish throws a glass bottle which bounces off Brittany's door]

Clevon:
She don't mean nothin' to me, baby!

Woman:
[Comes running at him with a 2x4 board] Clevon!

Clevon:
Oh, sh*t. It wasn't me! It wasn't me!

...

Carol:
Well, we finally decided to have children... and I'm not pointing fingers, but it's not going well.

Trevor:
And this is helping.

Carol:
I'm just saying that before I have in vitro, maybe you should be willing to--

Trevor:
It's always me, right? Well, it's not my sperm count.

...

Clevon Jr.:
[With arms on shoulders of a row of cheerleaders after football game] Yeah! Yeah! I'm gonna f*** all y'all!

Clevon:
That's my boy!

Clevon Jr.:
Whoo! Whoo!

...

[In a scene subtitled; "5 years later"]

Hospital surgeon:
Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a Jet Ski from a lake... into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to recent advances in stem cell research... and the fine work of Doctors Krinski and Altschuler... Clevon should regain full reproductive function.

Clevon:
Get your hands off my junk!

...

Carol:
Unfortunately, Trevor passed away from a heart attack... while masturbating... to produce sperm for artificial insemination. But I have some eggs frozen... so just as soon as the right guy comes along, you know--

...

Narrator:
And so it went for generations... although few, if any, seemed to notice. But in the year 2005, in a military base just outside of Washington, D.C... a simple army librarian was unknowingly... about to change the entire course of human history.