Pinocchio2022

[As Pinocchio runs while trying to catch up with the other kids, Honest John trips him over with his cane]

Honest John:
Uh-oh. Oh, God! Oh, my, my! How clumsy of me. I am terribly sorry. I do hope you're not injured.

Pinocchio:
Injured?

Honest John:
Damaged, broken, irreparably splintered beyond repair.

Pinocchio:
I'm not broken.

Honest John:
[sighs in relief] Thank heavens. You must be constructed of pretty sturdy oak.

Pinocchio:
I'm pine. That's why I'm called…

Honest John:
Yes, pine. Well, we can't all be constructed of quality lumber. [laughs] Well, well. Quite the scholar, I see. A man of letters. I presume you're on your way to lecture at the science academy?

Pinocchio:
No. I'm going to school so I can learn a bunch of stuff to be a real boy and make my father proud.

Honest John:
A real boy? Why on earth would you want to be real when you can be…famous?

Pinocchio:
Famous?

Honest John:
Yes, famous. I'm speaking of the theater. Bright lights. Music. Applause. Fame!

Pinocchio:
Fame? But I want to be real. [starts to skip away, but Honest John holds him back with his cane]

Honest John:
Yes, yes, my boy. But did you know, many people say that you're not actually real until everybody knows about you? Why, to be famous is to be real. Until then, you're just a nobody. Do you want to be a nobody? No! Nobody wants to be a nobody. Everybody who's anybody wants to be a somebody.

Pinocchio:
But my father said I should go to school.

Honest John:
Of course he did. All parents say that. But he doesn't recognize your genius. Who needs an education when one has such a personality, such a profile, such a physique?