Toy Story1995

[Woody walks over to the podium (a Playskool Tinkertoy container) and stands. Mike, a speaker with a microphone attached, clears his throat to get Woody's attention and held out his microphone]

Woody:
Oh, thanks, Mike.

[He picks up the microphone. Feedback is heard]

Woody:
Okay, whoa. Step back.

Hamm:
[Off-screen] For crying out loud.

[Mike steps back until the feedback fades away]

Woody:
Okay. Thank you. [blows into the microphone] Hello. Check. That better? Great. Everybody hear me? Up on the shelf, can you hear me? Great. Okay, first item today: uh, oh, yeah... has everyone picked a moving buddy?

[The other toys are surprised]

Other toys:
What?

Hamm:
Moving buddy? You can't be serious.

Rex:
Well, I didn't know we were supposed to have one already.

Mr. Potato Head:
[holding one of his arms] Do we have to hold hands?

[The other toys laugh]

Woody:
Oh, yeah. You guys think this is a big joke. We've only got one week left before the move. I don't want any toys left behind. A moving buddy. If you don't have one, get one! All right, next. Uh, oh, yes. Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting... was, I think, a big success, and we want to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us. Thank you, Mr. Spell.

Mr. Spell:
You're welcome.

Woody:
Okay. Uh, oh, yes. One, uh, minor note here. [reads quietly] Andy's birthday party has been moved to today. Uh, next we have...

[The other toys are shocked]

Rex:
What do you mean the party's today? His birthday's not 'til next week!

Hamm:
What's goin' on down there? Is his mom losin' her marbles?

Woody:
Well, obviously, she wanted to have the party before the move. [to the other toys] I'm not worried. You shouldn't be worried.

Mr. Potato Head:
Of course Woody ain't worried. He's been Andy's favorite since kindergarten.

Slinky:
Hey, hey. Come on, Potato Head.

[Mr. Potato Head looks at Mr. Spell, pointing at Slinky's butt then pulls out his mouth and tap his butt with it whilst Mr. Spell laughs]

Slinky:
If Woody says it's all right, then, well, darn it, it's good enough for me. Woody has never steered us wrong before.

Woody:
Come on, guys. Every Christmas and birthday we go through this.

Rex:
But what if Andy gets another dinosaur, a mean one? I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection!

Woody:
Hey, listen. No one's getting replaced. This is Andy we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much we're played with.

[Woody gestures Mike to move to him since the microphone's wire is stretched too far]

Woody:
What matters is that we're here for Andy when he needs us. That's what we're made for, right?

Hamm:
Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting, but... THEY'RE HERE!! BIRTHDAY GUESTS AT THREE O'CLOCK!!

[The other toys scream]

Woody:
Stay calm, everyone!

[The toys run to the window passing Woody in a panic]

Other toys:
Hey!

[Mike even joins in the panic, taking the microphone out of Woody's hand]

Woody:
Uh, meeting adjourned.

[The other toys get to the window to see what's going on]

Hamm:
Ho, boy, will you take a look at all those presents?

Mr. Potato Head:
I can't see a thing.

[He pick out his two eyes and lifts them above the toys to see Andy's friends bringing in presents]

Hamm:
Yes, sir. We're next month's garage sale fodder for sure.

Rex:
Any dinosaur shaped ones?

Hamm:
Oh, for crying out loud. They're all in boxes, you idiot.

Rex:
They're getting bigger!

Slinky:
Wait, there's a nice little one over there.

Child:
Hi!

[The boy holding the present turns to the other kid, revealing his present to be really long and making the toys panic. All toys scream in the process]

Mr. Spell:
Spell: trash can.

Rex:
We're doomed!

Woody:
All right. All right! If I send out the troops, will you all calm down?

Rex:
Yes! Yes! We promise!

Woody:
Okay! Save your batteries.

Hamm:
Eh, very good, Woody. That's using the old noodle.