She's Out of My League2010
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Rating: R (Restricted)
Runtime: 105 minutes
Kirk:
Devon, why would you tell her that I broke up with Molly?
Devon:
'Cause I thought you had.
Kirk:
No. We're just in a sticky wicket.
Stainer:
A "sticky wicket"?
Kirk:
Yeah. A rough patch. Rough pumpkins.
Stainer:
And how many times have you called her?
Kirk:
Five.
Stainer:
And how many times have you really called her?
Kirk:
Seventeen.
Stainer:
It's done. Tao of Love.
Kirk:
What?
Stainer:
That's what I call it. The Tao of Love. You being with Molly defies, like, forces of nature. It's over man.
Kirk:
No. It's not over. Frankly, I'm sick of all you guys pretending like you know where I'm coming from. None of you know what I'm going through right now.
Stainer:
Tina Jordan does.
Kirk:
Who the hell is Tina Jordan?
Stainer:
She was my Molly.
Kirk:
You never mentioned her.
Stainer:
I didn't want to jinx it. But she was perfect. Yeah, perfect. Freckled shoulders. Anyway, two months into it, bam, she dumps me. I shoulda seen it coming too, 'cause she was a ten. Like a hard ten. I was a six, possibly a seven. Either way, I couldn't cover the spread. The universe spoke and I was depressed for months.
Kirk:
That's what that was? You said you had mono.
Stainer:
Yeah. Mono of the heart.
Jack:
Oh, my God, how's your vagina?
Stainer:
Shut up, Jack!
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