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Kirk: Devon, why would you tell her that I broke up with Molly?Devon: 'Cause I thought you had.Kirk: No. We're just in a sticky wicket.Stainer: A "sticky wicket"?Kirk: Yeah. A rough patch. Rough pumpkins.Stainer: And how many times have you called her?Kirk: Five.Stainer: And how many times have you really called her?Kirk: Seventeen.Stainer: It's done. Tao of Love.Kirk: What?Stainer: That's what I call it. The Tao of Love. You being with Molly defies, like, forces of nature. It's over man.Kirk: No. It's not over. Frankly, I'm sick of all you guys pretending like you know where I'm coming from. None of you know what I'm going through right now.Stainer: Tina Jordan does.Kirk: Who the hell is Tina Jordan?Stainer: She was my Molly.Kirk: You never mentioned her.Stainer: I didn't want to jinx it. But she was perfect. Yeah, perfect. Freckled shoulders. Anyway, two months into it, bam, she dumps me. I shoulda seen it coming too, 'cause she was a ten. Like a hard ten. I was a six, possibly a seven. Either way, I couldn't cover the spread. The universe spoke and I was depressed for months.Kirk: That's what that was? You said you had mono.Stainer: Yeah. Mono of the heart.Jack: Oh, my God, how's your vagina?Stainer: Shut up, Jack!

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