Assy McGee2006

Assy McGee:
[uses megaphone] Okay, Jasper, let the Mayor go, and I'll get you what you want.

Jasper:
Just get me a helicopter, okay?

Chief:
[on walkie talkie] Talk to me, Assy. What's he want?

Assy McGee:
15 vodka gimlets and a splash of milk -- Top shelf, or the Mayor gets it.

Chief:
What?

Assy McGee:
His words, not mine.

Chief:
Come on, McGee. That's just playground talk, What else?

Assy McGee:
Jasper wants a bird.

Chief:
A helicopter? That's gonna take some time.

Assy McGee:
Then your four-square team's gonna be mopping Mayor brains, unless you get me those DRINKS AND THE BIRD BEFORE THAT RECESS WHISTLE BLOWS!

Chief:
Okay, okay. We're on it.

Chief:
[to Sanchez] What the hell is wrong with your partner?

Sanchez:
Don't worry about Assy, Chief. The kid's a closer, best there's ever been.

Chief:
Well, he seems real interested in making sure this perp's comfortable.

Sanchez:
He might have stockholm syndrome.

Chief:
Swedish herpes?

Sanchez:
No, it's a condition you suffer from where you become too sympathetical with your captors, Chief.

Chief:
...He's not captured, you idiot! Go pick up my dry cleaning and pour the damn drinks already, Glen. AND SOMEONE GET ME A F***ING CHOPPER!