The Drinky Crow Show2007

[after getting drunk from feeling guilty of Uncle Gabby not helping with Drinky in the fight between crocodiles]

Uncle Gabby:
I don't think I can get out of my guilt through drinking anymore, Drinky. I need somebody to take it away for me.

Drinky Crow:
You sound like A.A. They believe in trusting a higher power.

Uncle Gabby:
Great, let's do that!

Drinky Crow:
I can't cause it's not true. Scientists have taught us there is no God or higher power controlling the universe. Instead the planets are dragged across the sky by giant magnets.

Uncle Gabby:
Huh. Don't you think you'd feel better if you believed some higher power was moving the magnets?

Drinky Crow:
Sure. I don't deserve to feel better because I'm full of sin.

Uncle Gabby:
How can you still believe in sin if you don't believe in God?

Drinky Crow:
I hold onto the stuff that appeals to me.