Mr. Neighbor's House2016

[Mr. Neighbor finally sees his mother back as a floral purse]

Mr. Neighbor:
Mother.

Wendy Neighbor:
Hello, Jim.

Mr. Neighbor:
Everyone, this is my mother, Wendy Neighbor.

[as Mr. Neighbor was about to hug his Ma]

Wendy Neighbor:
No, no, no, no, no. Mama just got her hair did. What the hell is going on here?

Mr. Neighbor:
It's my birthday.

Wendy Neighbor:
Oh, sh*t.

Mr. Neighbor:
That's why you're here, right?

Wendy Neighbor:
I don't know if I got a gift or anything. Hold on. [throws makeup supplies and stuff] Alright, you know what, I don't have a present. [scoffs] Who cares? Holy sh*t. You got bald. Ugh. Disgusting.

[as his Mom steps on Mr. Neighbor's birthday hat, Mr. Neighbor had enough]

Mr. Neighbor:
We were just about to have cake.

Wendy Neighbor:
I can't have cake. I just got my stomach pumped.

Mr. Neighbor:
You told me 31 YEARS AGO THAT YOU WERE GOING OUT TO GET ME A BIRTHDAY CAKE!

Wendy Neighbor:
Oh, christ. Get over it. I don't need this. I'm just gonna get what I came for and go. Where is it? Where is it? Booyah! Sweet insurance money. Mama's getting paaaaaid!