Mary Shelley's Frankenhole2010

John Hancock:
Jefferson! Aren't you done writing the Declaration of Independence yet?

Thomas Jefferson:
Calm down, Hancock! I'm stuck on this whole "All men are created equal " thing. It just doesn't ring true.

John Hancock:
Why? What's wrong with it?

Thomas Jefferson:
Well, I own slaves.

John Hancock:
Oh, I see -- A *moral* dilemma.

Thomas Jefferson:
Yes. How can all men be created equal when these black men have penises twice the size of mine? I'm gonna take a break for a bit, John. I've got an errand to run.

John Hancock:
Well, can I just sign it now? I'm chomping at the bit here.

Thomas Jefferson:
Okay, but write small. I'm not finished yet. [leaves]

John Hancock:
Thanks, buddy! [writes the whole page] Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!