Mary Shelley's Frankenhole2010

[Hundreds of husbands' funerals later]

Victor Frankenstein:
How about now?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh, alright!

Polidori (as the marriage vower):
Do you, Elizabeth Mizoguchi, take Victor Frankenstein to be your lawful wedded husband for all eternity? Literally?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
I finally do.

Polidori:
I now pronounce you man and wife.

[as Victor and Elizabeth kissed, Victor yawns, and then Elizabeth slaps him]

[One thousand years and no funerals later]

Victor Frankenstein:
I'm suddenly...so bored.

Polidori:
Well. Why do you look so chipper?

Victor Frankenstein:
Do I? [looks at his mirror] Quite right. No idea, though. I mean, Elizabeth's been impossible lately.

Polidori:
It is that time of the year again.

Victor Frankenstein:
Of the year? [chuckles] Poor Polidolly. Brilliant scientist, but far too queer to know anything about a lady's toilet area.

Polidori:
I was referring to your wedding anniversary.

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, that. Well, anniversaries usually pass without too much drama. All you really have to do is ignore them.

Polidori:
Not this time, my lad. By my calculations, this is your 1,000th.

Victor Frankenstein:
Already?

[Polidori shows the calendar that says April 23th of where they're anniversary started]

Victor Frankenstein:
BALLS! Well, I'm sure Ygor has it all covered.

Polidori:
Really?

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, he's very good. Watch. Ygor.

Ygor:
Yes, master?

Victor Frankenstein:
Just wanted to touch base on a few matters I need doing. Have you decided what my favorite color is?

Ygor:
No. Not yet. You're leaning toward blue, though.

Victor Frankenstein:
I see. How about my throat? Have you cleared that yet?

Ygor:
Ah. I was just getting to it. [clears throat] There -- Done.

Victor Frankenstein:
And, uh, did you get my wife an anniversary present?

Ygor:
Uh-oh. Is that the year?

Victor Frankenstein:
Fantastic! If you want something done around here, you've got to do it yourself! Out, you fool! And don't forget forget to take a crap for me before dinner!

Ygor:
[laughing] You got it!