Mary Shelley's Frankenhole2010

Joe Yunger:
I'm afraid my vampire-huntin' days is over.

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, please, Joe. Vampires are the worst. I'll never be able to enjoy a movie again if you don't destroy them.

Joe Yunger:
Yeah, but as long as those P.E.T.U. busybodies are dousin' my ass, your little dilemma's gonna have to wait.

Victor Frankenstein:
Well, why don't you just kill them?

Joe Yunger:
Dude, I'm a vampire hunter. I can't kill no human.

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, sure you can. Stakes through the hearts work on anyone. They're evergreen.

Joe Yunger:
I mean legally, you idiot.

Victor Frankenstein:
Alright, alright. No need to get upset.

Joe Yunger:
Just too bad they ain't vampires, 'cause I'd stake 'em with pleasure.

Victor Frankenstein:
Joe! That's it! That's the answer! All we have to do is --

[John Hancock shows up]

John Hancock:
[laughs] Hey, Frankenstein, right?

Victor Frankenstein:
[groans] Now what?

Joe Yunger:
[sees John Hancock] Humanah. Humanah. Humanah.

John Hancock:
I just wanted to say, you know my pal Thomas Jefferson.

Joe Yunger:
HUMANAH! HUMANAH! HUMANAH!

Victor Frankenstein:
Yeah, yeah, it rings a bell. Look, we're in the middle of something, okay?

John Hancock:
Oh, okay. No probs. Geez. [leaves]

Victor Frankenstein:
Lousy frankenholes. I'm gonna start plugging those things up. Anyway, Joe, the answer is --

Joe Yunger:
That was John Hancock, you ignoramus!

Victor Frankenstein:
The signature guy?

Joe Yunger:
Yeah, the damn signature guy of the Declaration of Independence. I'M GONNA GO GET HIS AUTOGRAPH! [leaves]

Vampire Gandhi:
Hmm, boy. That vampire hunter sure is gay for those founding fathers, huh?

Victor Frankenstein:
Huh? Oh, oh, y-yeah.

Vampire Gandhi:
Good to know. [hides down the table]