Mary Shelley's Frankenhole2010

[while Victor and Joe are waiting for the vampires to come by to kill the PETU people as a plan]

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, boy, Joe! This is gonna be the best! Finally, nice quiet movie theaters. Ooh, it's got me all goose-pimply. [iggles]

Joe Yunger:
I don't know, man. There's somethin' about these cunning bastards fallin' for this trick so fast. I'm tellin' you, if I was a jackrabbit, my ears would be strickin' straight up right now.

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, what could go wrong? Here they come now. Get ready, Joe. [giggling]

Joe Yunger:
Okay, but this still don't feel right.

Joe Yunger:
[reads the note] "Get ready to die, you unholy varmints"!

[as the PETU people showed up]

Victor Frankenstein:
Get them!

[suddenly the founding fathers showed up and have also been turned into vampires, killing the PETU people]

Joe Yunger:
WHY?! You ruthless jockeys! Why, of all people, did you have to curse the blessed american founding fathers?

Vampire Gandhi:
Because we hate you. You're a vampire hunter, idiot.

Joe Yunger:
Gandhi, you son of a b*tch!

Vampire John Hancock:
Oh-ho. It's not so bad, Joe. At least now we got to live forever.

Vampire Founding Father #1:
Yeah, Joe. You want us to live forever, don't you?

Joe Yunger:
You boys always lived forever -- Right here, right smack dab in the middle of my patriotic ticker. You didn't need to be a bunch of vampires. Your immortality was written in the history books, not in the book of the friggin' undead.

Vampire George Washington:
Well, anyway, you wouldn't kill the father of your country, would you, Joe, just because I have wooden fangs?

Joe Yunger:
Well, General Washington, I guess that's what we about to find out.

[Joe shoots Vampire John Adams]

Victor Frankenstein:
YAY!

Joe Yunger:
John Adams! OHHHH! You're one of the best.

[Joe stabs Vampire Thomas Paine]

Joe Yunger:
I'm sorry, Thomas Paine.

[Joe kills George Washington]

Joe Yunger:
[voice breaking] Oh, what am I doing? I just brunt George Washington with holy water. I'm afraid my vampire-huntin' days is really over now.

Victor Frankenstein:
No, Joe! Y-You can't say that! What about your code of ethics, you knowledge of what is right? How am I ever going to watch a movie in peace and quiet again?

Vampire John Hancock:
You won't. That's how.