Mary Shelley's Frankenhole2010

[Jesus gives his moments to Death]

Jesus Christ:
Wow. What a great turn-out. Great crowd. Good-looking crowd. I can't help but feel that I had something to do with this, because not only am I responsible for the death of, uh [clicks tongue] What's-his-name over here, but also, I know that most of you probably showed up because you heard ol' Jesus Christos was gonna show up in the flesh. Am I right? Huh? I'M GREAT!

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, b-rother.

Jesus Christ:
Wow. Nothing from you guys. Okay, you know what? Check this out. KA-BLAMMY!

[Jesus use his powers to bring out fish]

Jesus Christ:
HA HA! FISH! Tons of em!

Audience:
[coughs]

Jesus Christ:
Oh. Wow. Tough crowd. Tough crowd. Okay, here we go. Keep your eye on my mouth.

[Jesus inhales all the fish inside his mouth]

Jesus Christ:
Mmm. One bite. I ate -- I ate all the fish in one damn bite. What do I got to do with you guys?

Guy in back:
You're dying up there!

Jesus Christ:
[chuckling] Yeah, I wish. That's -- That's what got me on everybody's good side to begin with, you know. That's my BEST TRICK! I -- [gasps as he gets and idea] Death! Hang on a second. I need to get serious for half a second.

[Jesus uses his powers to revive Death]

Jesus Christ:
[gibberish] [to Death] Get the hell up!

Death:
Huh? What?

Jesus Christ:
[whispers] Hey, touch me. I'm gonna go out with this.

Death:
You need me?

Jesus Christ:
Just touch me. This is gonna be good.

Death:
Well, alright.

[Death touches Jesus Christ and dies]

Audience:
[gasps]

Death:
Well, um, he will be missed. Uh, the first time I met Jesus --

Jesus Christ:
HELLO!

Death:
OH!

Audience:
[cheered and claps]

[as Death and Jesus bowed, Jesus died again]

Jesus Christ:
HELLO!

Death:
Oh, you just can't keep this bonehead down! [laughs]

Jesus Christ:
Hey, who you calling a bonehead, dumbass?

Death:
Why, you! I oughta --

[Death touches Jesus again]

Jesus Christ:
HELLO! [singing] Back on my feet, and doin' a dance.