Mary Shelley's Frankenhole2010

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Victor, you haven't touched your food. Is there something wrong?

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, no. Uh, why would anything be wrong?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Well, I mean, look at you.

Victor Frankenstein:
DON'T RUB IT IN!

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Rub what in?

Victor Frankenstein:
That I can't see myself.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Well, then just look into that precious hand mirror of yours like you always do.

Victor Frankenstein:
Not good enough! [breaks his mirror] I want to see the real me, the one that everyone else sees.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh, really? Are you sure you want do that?

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes! It's just not fair that I can't. Why does everyone else get the pleasure of seeing me?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Are you really serious right now?

Victor Frankenstein:
I've never been more serious in my life.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Because I think you're just trying to worm your way out of tasting my lasagna.

Victor Frankenstein:
[laughs] What an ego. You think this is all about you. Really, Elizabeth, I -- Did you say "worm"?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Yes. "Worm your way out".

Victor Frankenstein:
Of course. That's it! All I have to do is meld the regenerative characteristics of an earthworm with my own DNA, cut myself in half, and voilà! I get two mes -- Not a clone, but two originals! By George, I'm BRILLIANT! [leaves]

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
That man should really get a room with himself.