The Witches of Eastwick

The Witches of Eastwick1987

The Witches of Eastwick is a 1987 film about three single women in a picturesque village who have their wishes granted - at a cost - when a mysterious and flamboyant man arrives in their lives. more »



Daryl Van Horne:
Sorry, uh, just having a little trouble, a little trouble at home. A little domestic problem. Nothing to be alarmed at. Just a little female problem. Hi. [he vomits] Don't pay any attention. It's a cheap trick. Anybody can do it. I taught it to them myself. Ungrateful little b*tches, aren't they? May I ask you something? You're all church-going folk. I really want to ask you something. Do you think God knew what He was doing when He created woman? Huh? No sh*t! I really want to know. Or do you think it was just another one of his minor mistakes like tidal waves, earthquakes, floods! Do you think women are like that? [he pukes again] What's the matter? You don't think God makes mistakes? Of course He does. We all make mistakes! Of course, when we make mistakes, they call it evil! When God makes mistakes, they call it nature! [laughs] So whaddya think? Women. A mistake?! Or did He DO IT TO US ON PURPOSE!? Because I really want to know! Because if it's a mistake, maybe we can do somethin' about it! Find a cure! Invent a vaccine! Build up our immune systems! (More chuckling) Get a little exercise! You know, twenty push-ups a day, and you never have to be afflicted with women EVER AGAIN!

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