And Now for Something Completely Different1971

Bevis:
I didn't want to do this, you know. I wanted to be a lumberjack!

Mr. Praline:
Yes, this is irrelevant.

Bevis:
Yes! A lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! The smell of fresh cut timber! The giant redwood! The larch! The fir! The mighty Scots pine! With my best girlie by my side, we'd sing... sing... sing!

Bevis:
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK/I sleep all night and I work all day.

Bevis:
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory/On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.

Bevis:
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers/I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Bevis:
I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra/I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.

Bevis:
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!

Best Girl:
Oh, Bevis! And I though you were so butch!