Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle2004

Harold:
So what are you in here for?

Tarik:
For being black.

Harold:
Seriously.

Tarik:
I am serious. You wanna know what happened. I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Evidently, a black guy robbed a storein Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.

Harold:
Holy sh*t! What'd you do?

Tarik:
I kept saying,"I understand I'm under arrest. Now please stop beating me."

Harold:
I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.

Tarik:
Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.