Barney Miller1974

Capt. Barney Miller:
[a grumpy Captain Miller approaches Harris' desk] What about you? How about my arrest reports for last month?

Det. Ron Harris:
I'm working on them, Barney, but I got stuck on something.

Capt. Barney Miller:
Oh, what?

Det. Ron Harris:
[Turning to his typewriter] Well, this: "The suspect then turned on Officer Sloane and attacked him with..." I need a word that means "savage," but in a premeditated way.

Capt. Barney Miller:
Use that.

Det. Ron Harris:
[Shaking his head] Too awkward.

Capt. Barney Miller:
[Frustrated] This is an arrest report, not a literary masterpiece, c'mon!

Det. Ron Harris:
People downtown have come to expect something more when they see my name on a report.

Capt. Barney Miller:
Forget your reputation - gimme the report!

Det. Ron Harris:
Okay, Barney, but I'm gonna use my psuedonym.