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Capt. Barney Miller: [a grumpy Captain Miller approaches Harris' desk] What about you? How about my arrest reports for last month?Det. Ron Harris: I'm working on them, Barney, but I got stuck on something.Capt. Barney Miller: Oh, what?Det. Ron Harris: [Turning to his typewriter] Well, this: "The suspect then turned on Officer Sloane and attacked him with..." I need a word that means "savage," but in a premeditated way.Capt. Barney Miller: Use that.Det. Ron Harris: [Shaking his head] Too awkward.Capt. Barney Miller: [Frustrated] This is an arrest report, not a literary masterpiece, c'mon!Det. Ron Harris: People downtown have come to expect something more when they see my name on a report.Capt. Barney Miller: Forget your reputation - gimme the report!Det. Ron Harris: Okay, Barney, but I'm gonna use my psuedonym.

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