Bottom1991

[Richie tries to impress his date, Lady Natasha Letitia Sarah Jane Wellesley Obstromsky Ponsonsky Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Ovlomov Boblomov Dob, third viscountess of Moldavia]

Richie:
What was it Shakespeare used to say?

Eddie:
[dressed as a butler] Um..."Hello, my dear. I'm a playwriter, you know. Come on, give us a snog".

Richie:
No, Eddie!

Eddie:
Um..."Where's my quill? Bloody Hell, I bought five yesterday! Where do they all go?"

Richie:
[laughing nervously] No, really! What was it he used to say?

Eddie:
"What do you mean, it's crap? There's eight bodies at the end, and he gets to shag his Mum!"

[Richie punches Eddie in the groin]