Bottom1991

Eddie:
They're the Queen's jugs.

Richie:
A. The Queen doesn't have jugs, she's royalty! B. If she did, she certainly wouldn't get 'em out on the back of a fiver, she'd save 'em up for the fifty!

Eddie:
If you have a look at my fifty, you may find it a bit more risque.

[Richie glances at it and winces]

Richie:
Eddie, that's tantamount to treason!... She's got three knockers!

Eddie:
No, that's Bobby Charlton in the middle.

Richie:
Are you insane? You couldn't buy these under the counter in Hamburg!

Eddie:
That's the point, mate. The barkeeper will be so mesmerised by the classy erotica, I'll have had ten pints by the time he realises how crap the squiggly lines are!