Cracker1993

[Fitz is arguing with his son in the express line]

Old Woman:
Er, eight items!

Fitz:
[Turns around] I've GOT eight items!

Old Woman:
No you haven't!

Fitz:
[sighs with exasperation] Three bottles of whiskey constitutes one item.

Old Woman:
Three items!

Fitz:
ONE item! Two loaves of bread constitutes one item. Two dozen eggs constitutes one item!

Old Woman:
Two, and two...

Fitz:
Six frozen lasagnas constitutes one item!

Old Woman:
SIX?

Fitz:
Four Cornish pasties constitutes one item!

Old Woman:
[to the cashier] Could you call the supervisor, please-?

Fitz:
And three steak-and-kidney BASTARD pies also constitutes ONE BLOODY ITEM!

[the check stand's alarm starts ringing]

Fitz:
Oh, for God's sake...