Cracker1993

[Fitz is paying for a mountain of groseries in the eight items queue]

Irate Customer:
Uh, eight items.

Fitz:
I've got eight items!

Irate Customer:
No, you haven't.

Fitz:
Three bottles of whiskey constitute one item.

Irate Customer:
THREE items.

Fitz:
ONE item! Two loaves of bread constitute one item. Two dozen eggs constitute one item.

Irate Customer:
Two and two!

Fitz:
Six frozen lasagnes constitute one item.

Irate Customer:
Six!

Fitz:
Four cornish pasties constitute one item.

Irate Customer:
[to the cashier] Could you call the supervisor, please?

Fitz:
And three steak and kidney bastard pies also constitute one bloody item! [the alarm goes off] Oh, God's sake!