Daria1997

Daria Morgendorffer:
...so that's it. Of all the guys in the world to kiss, I pick the one who's going out with my best friend. Now I don't know what's going on, I have nobody to talk to about it, and that's why I came to you.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
Oh.

Daria Morgendorffer:
I didn't mean it that way.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
Oh. Well, it's not easy being a teenager, Daria. You have all these new feelings and sensations...

Daria Morgendorffer:
Mom, spare me the puberty speech. I kissed my best friend's boyfriend.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
I'm sure it was just a one-time...

Daria Morgendorffer:
Twice.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
[sighs] It's a lousy situation, Daria. But you didn't set out to hurt anyone.

Daria Morgendorffer:
Neither do those bus drivers who go flying off an embankment on their way to the casino.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
Daria... nobody got killed.

Daria Morgendorffer:
No, but I can't imagine how I could have hurt Jane more.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
What about Tom?

Daria Morgendorffer:
I'm not thinking about Tom! [sighs] You know... I had everything more or less under control. I'm not saying it was great, but I could deal with school, I could deal with home, and now nothing's under control.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
It never is, sweetie. We just tell ourselves otherwise so we can function.

Daria Morgendorffer:
Who came up with that stupid arrangement?

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
It's called life.

Daria Morgendorffer:
Life sucks.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
Yes. Sometimes... often.

Daria Morgendorffer:
*That's* reassuring.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
But it still beats the alternative. Honey, things will work out. I don't know how, but they will.

Daria Morgendorffer:
You don't know how? What kind of parental wisdom is that?

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
Honest?

Daria Morgendorffer:
Don't you have to be getting back to that huge case of yours?

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer:
Oh, don't worry about that. It's completely under control.