Daria1997

[after Daria and Jane pass succesfully the self-esteem class, Mr. O'Neill congratulates them at the school assembly]

Mr. Timothy O'Neill:
I'd like you to meet two students who have completed our self-esteem course faster than anyone ever before! Please, join me in congratulations as I present these certificates of self-esteem to...

[Mr. O'Neill reads the names from a ticket, since he fails to remember faces]

Mr. Timothy O'Neill:
...Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane.

[meager applause]

Jane:
[shrugs] Oh, what the hell.

[Jane and Daria approach Mr. O'Neill and take their certificates. Jane steps up to podium, intending to turn the whole foolish event into a joke]

Jane:
I just want to say how proud I am today. Knowing that I have self-esteem gives me even more self-esteem.

[Jane smirks at Daria, then launches into her act]

Jane:
[wears sad expression] On the other hand, having all of you know that I had low self-esteem makes me feel... kind of bad... like a big failure or something...

[Daria smiles. The audience starts tittering]

Jane:
I... uh... I want to go home!

[Jane pretends to burst into tears, and runs off stage. The audience bursts out laughing]

Mr. Timothy O'Neill:
Daria, wait!

[Mr. O'Neill runs after Jane. Daria steps up to podium]