Doogie Howser, M.D.1989

Dr. Doogie Howser:
[after meeting Roy's second wife] That was your wife? And the one in the cafeteria was... [Roy lifts his arms] You have two wives, like, together?

Roy Lester:
Now, now, just calm down. It's just of those things.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Just one of those things?

Roy Lester:
You see, I was dating two women a-at the ends of my trucking route - Marge in Sacramento and Joanne in - in L.A. Well, Joanne and I started getting serious, so I asked her to marry me. Then when I went to tell Marge, I started hinting around that - that maybe we should break it off, and... [sighs] she started crying. Well, I just can't take sobbing, so...

Dr. Doogie Howser:
So you did the natural thing - You married both of them.

Roy Lester:
[sighs] Look, it's like this. When I stare into those beautiful brown eyes or... beautiful blue eyes, depending on which face I'm staring into, I just get all silly. But it's not like I'm a womanizer, doc. I'm totally faithful... to both of them.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
And you have families with both?

Roy Lester:
Oh, yeah, wonderful families. [Grabs his wallet] I'm just nuts about 'em. Just look at those faces, doc. There's Betty, Angie, Roy Jr. [flips through pictures to his other family] And there's Ronnie and Becky... Roy Jr.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Two Roy Jrs.?

Roy Lester:
I just couldn't resist. It's just such a darn good name.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Well, I guess a lot of men have two wives in their lifetime. You just chose to do it simultaneously.

Roy Lester:
Look, doc, I know what I did was wrong, but I love each and every one of these people. You got to help me, doc.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Help you?

Roy Lester:
Well, yeah. You said my condition was serious, that I shouldn't aggravate it. Please?

Dr. Doogie Howser:
[sighs] All right. I - I'll have to set up separate visiting schedules for each one, and any visitor will have to check through me, but... I'll do my best.

Roy Lester:
Oh, thanks a heap, doc. Thanks a heap!