Doogie Howser, M.D.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
[after meeting Roy's second wife] That was your wife? And the one in the cafeteria was... [Roy lifts his arms] You have two wives, like, together?

Roy Lester:
Now, now, just calm down. It's just of those things.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Just one of those things?

Roy Lester:
You see, I was dating two women a-at the ends of my trucking route - Marge in Sacramento and Joanne in - in L.A. Well, Joanne and I started getting serious, so I asked her to marry me. Then when I went to tell Marge, I started hinting around that - that maybe we should break it off, and... [sighs] she started crying. Well, I just can't take sobbing, so...

Dr. Doogie Howser:
So you did the natural thing - You married both of them.

Roy Lester:
[sighs] Look, it's like this. When I stare into those beautiful brown eyes or... beautiful blue eyes, depending on which face I'm staring into, I just get all silly. But it's not like I'm a womanizer, doc. I'm totally faithful... to both of them.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
And you have families with both?

Roy Lester:
Oh, yeah, wonderful families. [Grabs his wallet] I'm just nuts about 'em. Just look at those faces, doc. There's Betty, Angie, Roy Jr. [flips through pictures to his other family] And there's Ronnie and Becky... Roy Jr.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Two Roy Jrs.?

Roy Lester:
I just couldn't resist. It's just such a darn good name.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Well, I guess a lot of men have two wives in their lifetime. You just chose to do it simultaneously.

Roy Lester:
Look, doc, I know what I did was wrong, but I love each and every one of these people. You got to help me, doc.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Help you?

Roy Lester:
Well, yeah. You said my condition was serious, that I shouldn't aggravate it. Please?

Dr. Doogie Howser:
[sighs] All right. I - I'll have to set up separate visiting schedules for each one, and any visitor will have to check through me, but... I'll do my best.

Roy Lester:
Oh, thanks a heap, doc. Thanks a heap!

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Closing quote - "October 10, 1990... 'Doctor Doogie' died. Candace is going to live. Good trade - his death for her life.

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen, and I'm a doctor!

Shannon:
Isn't it amazing? There didn't have to be a universe at all. And even if there did have to be a universe, it didn't have to be so beautiful. But it is. So beautiful.

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
[Doogie turns his head toward Shannon]

Shannon:
And here. In all of outer space, with all the places that the Sun and the Earth and the Moon could be. They're right here. In perfect alignment. Isn't it a miracle?

Shannon:
[Shannon turns her head toward Doogie]

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser, Shannon:
[Shannon and Doogie lean forward and kiss]

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
But it can't last. Just tonight.

Shannon:
Yeah. But maybe it's enough that it happens at all. One bright shining moment.

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
And the really miraculous thing is... it'll happen again and again and again.

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser, Shannon:
[Shannon and Doogie lean forward and kiss one last time]

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
[Journal Entry] February 26, 1993... Tonight I did the unthinkable. I acted like an impulsive, crazy, adolescent, hormonal genius.

Dr. Douglas "Doogie" Howser:
[Journal Entry] February 5, 1993... I examined the facts to find the truth. But Vinnie showed me I had to look beyond the truth to find justice.

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Mr. Sullivan. Welcome back.

Mr. Sullivan:
Oh, please. Not the kid again. You still playin' doctor?

Dr. Doogie Howser:
Yeah, just until I get it right.

Dr. David Howser:
What's going on here, Vincent?

Vinnie Delpino:
Oh, I was just visiting with Doogie, Dr. Howser. Listening to his plan to part Wanda Plenn's pulsating red lips with his probing pubescent tongue.

Vinnie Delpino:
Smell me, am I tropical?

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe if we all spent a little less time beholding - we'd all be a lot happier.

Vinnie Delpino:
I hear the beaches in Miami are great.

Yvette:
I wouldn't know. Last time I was at the beach, they declared me an endangered species.

Vinnie Delpino:
[awkwardly] I don't know what to do when you say stuff like that.

Yvette:
Laugh. It's a joke.

Dr. Douglas "Doogie" Howser:
[typing in his journal] April 17, 1992... I've decided to become a trauma surgeon. Maybe all my patients won't show Karen's spirit, but I want to give them the chance to try. It'll be my gift to them, and their gift to me.

Dr. Douglas "Doogie" Howser:
[typing in his journal] March 26, 1992... If you have to let go of a dream, it helps to have something else to hold on to... a friend.

Vinnie Delpino:
You got a date with Wanda tonight?

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
I have to work. You goin' out with Susie?

Vinnie Delpino:
I don't know. It's only 1989, why bother?

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
[referring to their family Volvo station wagon] Mom, it's a tub.

Vinnie Delpino:
[after Wanda kisses a piece of food off Doogie's mouth] How come you never pick food off my face?

Janine Stewart:
[annoyed] Don't start.

Mr. Kinnevy:
Wait a minute. You're a kid.

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
True, but I'm also a genius. If you have a problem with that, I can get you an older doctor who's not as smart as me.

Mr. Kinnevy:
So, doc, I'm using the power saw, this killer redhead walks by. Next thing I know, I've only got nine fingers.

Douglas 'Doogie' Howser:
Yeah, I like redheads too. Do we have his thumb?

Fiona Wilkes:
[Doogie's preschool teacher] To tell you the truth, I never saw anything special in the boy. He constantly questioned my authority. He was never neat and tidy. He refused to color inside the lines. He ate paste. I've never had a three-year-old call me a bureaucrat before.

Dr. Douglas "Doogie" Howser:
[Journal Entry] March 21, 1993... Somewhere over the Atlantic. I've spent the last nineteen years learning how to be Doogie Howser, M.D. Now it's time to learn how to be just Doogie.

Dr. Douglas "Doogie" Howser:
There's so much about life that I don't understand. Maybe I do retreat into medicine where I can feel superior.

Vinnie Delpino:
Look... you are just a regular guy, you know. You drive a car, you go out on dates, you're using an autopsy report as a placemat.

Dr. Douglas "Doogie" Howser:
When I was a child, all my days were filled with endless wonder. When I was a child, I would lie on the dew-covered grass and search the vast evening sky for falling stars. When I was a child, my friends and I would venture deep into the woods and tell tales of the Grim Reaper... Who with sickle in hand... Icily searched for his next victim. We weren't afraid, he came only for the old, not us. When I was a child, I would look to my mother's arms for warmth and my father's eyes for approval. When I was a child, I wondered... When will I be grown? Now I'm an adult and I wonder... Can I ever be a child again?