Fawlty Towers1975

Mrs. Heath:
Might I ask why you don't have proper salad cream. I mean, most restaurants...

Basil Fawlty:
Well, the, uh, the chef usually buys it only on special occassions. You know, Gourmet Nights and so on, but, um, when he's got the bottle - OH! - he's genius with it. He can unscrew the cap like Robert Currie. It's a treat to watch, and then - ptptptpt! - right in the plate. Never on the walls. Magic. Mind you, he's a wizard with a tin opener, too. He's got a Pulizer Prize for that. He can out the stuff in the saucepan before you can say "haute cuisine." You name it, he'll heat it up and scrape it off the pan for you. Mind you, skill like that isn't picked up overnight. Still, I'll tell him to get some salad cream. I mean, you never know when Henry Kissenger is gonna drop in, do you?