George Lopez2002

Ernie:
Hey, I'm ready today, Bro. Sabes qu?? I stayed up late watching home improvement shows. Yeah. I think we could class this place up with some sconces and some Roman shades, huh? Huh?

George Lopez:
Look, take it easy, Queer Eye. We're in way over our heads, Man. There's no way we're gonna get this done in three days; not with all the plumbing and electrical stuff.

Ernie:
Yeah, you know, "can't" is just another way of saying "won't".

George Lopez:
You wanna get shocked 'til you pee again?

Ernie:
No... [checks his crotch] So what, what are you gonna do, you gonna call a contractor?

George Lopez:
No, I don't wanna spend the money. Look, I called Victor and Bobby from the old neighborhood; they're on their way over.

Ernie:
I don't know about those dudes, George. They cut a lot of corners!

George Lopez:
That's why I want them! They're quick and they're cheap.

Ernie:
Ch-yeah. But remember when they hooked up the septic tank at the Martinez place? They got the lines all crossed up? The first time the mom used the dishwasher, the whole family got hepatitis.

George Lopez:
Man, she's barely breaking even! I'm not gonna put thousands of dollars into something that might not pay off. Remember her candle business?

Ernie:
[softly] Oh.

George Lopez:
Scents of Cuba?

Ernie:
Yeah.

George Lopez:
It turns out nobody wants to smell like poverty and cigars. [Ernie chuckles; Victor enters and then Bobby]

Victor:
'Sup?

George Lopez:
[Deep voice akin to Victor's] 'Sup.

Bobby:
'Sup.

George Lopez:
[deep voice] 'Sup. [normal voice] 'Memba Ernie?

Victor:
'Sup.

Ernie:
[quickly] 'Sup.

Bobby:
'Sup.

Ernie:
'Sup.

Victor:
So, uh, I hear you need an office for your old lady.

George Lopez:
Yeah and it's gotta be really nice, too, Victor. It's gotta have hardwood floors, recessed lighting, crown molding, everything y todo, the whole nine yarns.

Bobby:
How is Angie; is she still fine?