Gilmore Girls2000

Lorelai:
[Explaining her Halloween plans] I want to do a skit.

Luke:
Skit?

Lorelai:
Yes, I want to be a mad scientist. I'm gonna come out in a blood-stained white lab coat and freaky makeup and big, giant, Don King kind of hairdo, and I'm going to turn the whole front yard into my laboratory.

Luke:
Wow.

Lorelai:
Yes, I'm gonna have a huge electric chair and an operating table and test tubes and wires.

Luke:
Sounds elaborate.

Lorelai:
But you haven't heard the half of it, okay? And so I come out and I do mad scientist "banter", like, "Hey, who here is from Bellevue?" and "'Girl Interrupted'? Now that's my idea of a feel-good movie". I'll work on it. But anyway, after that, I'm gonna drag you out.

Luke:
WHAT?

Lorelai:
You're strapped in an electric chair, and I'm gonna throw the switch and totally electrocute you. And you're flailing around. We'll rig something where smoke and sparks shoot out of your nose. And then once you're dead, I'll throw you onto the operating table and I'll cut you open, and I pull link sausages out of you and throw them into the crowd.

Luke:
That's it?

Lorelai:
Well, I mean, we can take a bow or something, but, yeah, that's it.

Luke:
Okay. Uh, just a couple of questions here. Once you've electrocuted me, and I'm dead, um, how exactly do I get to the operating table?

Lorelai:
Huh. Good question. Maybe I can position the operating table like right near the electric chair so I can just flop you over onto it after you die.

Luke:
Okay, let's say we work that out. Now I'm on the table. You're gonna cut me open with what?

Lorelai:
A big, rusty saw.

Luke:
And then you're gonna pull link sausages out of me.

Lorelai:
Real slow and creepy like.

Luke:
Okay, great. Last question. Uh, what are the odds of you getting me to do a skit where you electrocute me, cut me open, and pull link sausages out of me? 'Cause I'm thinking they're right up there with Pia Zadora making a big comeback.