Golan the Insatiable2013

[Golan paces in Dylan's room]

Golan:
What about all the spells you've cast from my magic tome? How the hell'd you read those?

Dylan Beekler:
I just followed the pictures, duh!

Golan:
[sputters] Well, no wonder they've never worked out right! All this time I've been calling you stupid just to be mean, and it turns out I was *right*? So much less satisfying.

Dylan Beekler:
Whatever.

Golan:
Not whatever! This reflects poorly on me and the entire cult.

Golan:
[flames erupt around Golan] I command you to learn to read right now!

[wipe to Dylan strapped into a chair, books Take of Two Cities and Behind the Fall propped up in front of her, ABC Primer and another book on either side of her head, held in place by a giant metal vice which Golan tightens]

Dylan Beekler:
[screaming] Aaah!

Golan:
How much knowledge would you say you are absorbing?

Dylan Beekler:
[Golan tightens the vice further] Uhggh!