Home Improvement1991

Wilson:
Tim, are you familiar with the I-Ching?

Tim:
Sure. The itching, the scratching, the chafing. That's why I switched to boxers, my friend.

Wilson:
No... No, actually, the I-Ching is the ancient book of Chinese wisdom. You ask a question about your life, and then you toss these coins, and you try to divine the answer from the book.

[later]

Wilson:
You know as Longfellow says, a torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words can bruise the heart of a child.

Tim:
Do you think I should have a talk with Harry?

Wilson:
Well, let's see what the I-Ching says. M-m, hm-m hm-m hm-m hm-m hm-mmm-mm. Yes, it says the situation is a microcosm juxtaposed against and created by the macrocosm of the universe. And there my neighbor, you have your answer.

[later]

Tim:
Well, how about some words of wisdom from Longfellow during his itching period. He said, "Don't juckopose anything in a macroscope in this universe."