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Coach McGuirk:
Brendon, I know something is going on.

Brendon:
Nothing is going on, Coach McGuirk.

Coach McGuirk:
Hey, I said something's going on, now let me tell you a story, all right? About me. I once went astray myself.

Brendon:
I am not astray.

Coach McGuirk:
Shut up and listen, Brendon. And learn.

Brendon:
Okay.

Coach McGuirk:
Now when I was in college I went through some weird times...

Brendon:
I didn't know you went to college.

Coach McGuirk:
A couple of days I did. Alright, and I ran with a gang. The gang was called the Feelgoods. It wasn't the toughtest gang in the world... it was more like running with the cast of a broadway musical. Very annoying. Alot of freaky interpretive dance stuff - beads, makeup - in other words *drugs*, Brendon.

Brendon:
Coach McGuirk, I am *not* doing drugs.

Coach McGuirk:
You don't remember the Feelgoods, Brendon?

Brendon:
Am I...

Coach McGuirk:
Huh?

Brendon:
No!

Coach McGuirk:
Is that it?

Brendon:
What?

Coach McGuirk:
Denial is the first sign that you've got a problem, Brendon.

Brendon:
No it's not. Denial is the first sign that I *don't* have a problem. That's why I'm denying it.

Coach McGuirk:
That doesn't work that way, Brendon. You can't fool me with your logic. If you're denying doing it that means you're doing it.

Brendon:
You mean like, uh, "He who smelt it dealt it"?

Coach McGuirk:
I don't know from poetry, Brendon. But if you're doing drugs, you're doing drugs and that's bad.

Brendon:
But I'm not doing anything.

Coach McGuirk:
Well you're doing this!

Brendon:
[sigh] Mr. Freckles again?

Coach McGuirk:
Hey, he who's late cleans Mr. Freckle's crap. Alright, bring it in!