How I Met Your Mother2005

Barney Stinson:
[Barney is angry that Ted slept with his half-sister] That's my sister, Ted!

Ted Mosby:
I didn't know! None of us even knew you had a sister until two years ago, including you. It's all a crazy coincidence.

Barney Stinson:
There are four million women in the city of New York and you had to sleep with my sister. Why would the universe do that to me?

Ted Mosby:
[Sarcastic] I don't know. It's not like you've treated women in such a way that wouldn't invite karmic retribution.

Barney Stinson:
You banged my sister, my sweet, little, innocent...

Ted Mosby:
Pierced.

Barney Stinson:
Really, where? [gets on] Don't answer that! Now I know why I felt what you did to her last night. It wasn't a Bro-nection - it was a Sis-nection. Oh my God, Ted did you... [whispers in Ted's ear]

Ted Mosby:
Big-time.

Barney Stinson:
Nice, high-five [high-fives Ted, but... ] No, NO! Retraction Five! [high-fives Ted again and reverses words]

Ted Mosby:
Hey, hey you're the one who begged for a proxy bang - and while we're on the subject of family, I'm pretty sure you banged my mom! Mom beats sister.

Barney Stinson:
I never banged your mom! [winks]

Ted Mosby:
You just did that winking again!

Barney Stinson:
No I didn't. [winks again]

Ted Mosby:
Okay fine. Barney were you a little sore this morning, especially... [whispers in Barney's ear]

Barney Stinson:
[Aghast] Friendship OVER! [marches out of bar]