How I Met Your Mother2005

Barney Stinson:
Ted, I'm desperate. Earlier today, I saw that wrist cuff, and I got a partial for Marshall. Did you bang that girl yet?

Ted Mosby:
Don't get your hopes, or anything else up. I tried to connect with her, but everything just comes back to her weird fetish about how old I am.

Barney Stinson:
Well, just go simple. Does she like TV?

Carly:
[Flashback] No... but I'll watch 60 Minutes with you as loud and as long as you want.

Barney Stinson:
Sports?

Carly:
[Flashback] No... But I bet you look super hot playing Shuffleboard just slathered in Bengay.

Barney Stinson:
Does she like books?

Carly:
[Flashback] No... But I bet you do. I bet you have a big... thick... pair of bifocals.

Ted Mosby:
She doesn't have daddy issues. She has grandaddy issues. I'm ending it.

Barney Stinson:
Ted, I beg of you, don't quit on a body that won't quit. Ooh, ooh, that'll go sweet on a bumper sticker. That's going in the journal.

Ted Mosby:
Did you steal my dream journal?

Barney Stinson:
No, now get back in there before all your teeth fall out and you're naked in front of Shaker Heights High School in a play you never rehearsed for!

Ted Mosby:
Bastard! We don't connect on a single thing! I'm ending it!