How I Met Your Mother2005

Marshall Eriksen:
Why in the world would Ted text a girl he barely knows that he sometimes has gay dreams about me?

Barney Stinson:
Whoa. Slow your roll. You? He's clearly talking about me.

Marshall Eriksen:
Dude, it's me. I'm his best friend.

Barney Stinson:
Okay, one: that has never been proven. Two: If anyone were to have gay dreams about one of us, it would be me. I mean, look at me. Now look at you.

Marshall Eriksen:
Here's the thing, Barney. I'm snuggly. You're not. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in a comforter, and it's raining outside, And there's muffins warming in the oven. I'm cuddly, b*tch. Deal with it.

Barney Stinson:
I work out every day. If there is one thing we know about Ted, It's that he likes a nice body. This body would rock his world.

Marshall Eriksen:
Ted and I have a history. I know what he likes. There are things I could do to him that would blow his mind - - Why do we keep trying to have sex with Ted?

Barney Stinson:
I don't know. It's weird.