I'm Alan Partridge1997

Michael:
Morning, Mr Partridge.

Alan Partridge:
Yeah, Michael, I was just saying to Susan, bit of a job for you, unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again.

Michael:
[Very thick Geordie accent] Vandals, eh, Mr Partridge? Y'know, makes yeh wonder what it's all aboot.

Alan Partridge:
[Confused] Aboot?

Michael:
Aye. Y'know, vandals, y'know? What is it all aboot?

Alan Partridge:
Oh, about. Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie... people.

Michael:
[Speaking too quickly] Ye knaw, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night.

Alan Partridge:
What?

Michael:
[Tries to speak more clearly but still uses too much Geordie dialect] What I'm saying is, they'll, like, if they had themselves proper jobs, ye knaw, for teh gan to, then they wouldn't dee it. Y'know, a lot a' them's from broken hawmes.

Alan Partridge:
Sorry, Michael, that was just a noise. All I got there was "broken homes". And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. You, look at you, do you, uh... go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall?

Michael:
Aye. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen.

Alan Partridge:
[Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. They taught you a trade. Minor repairs.

Michael:
Aye. That and killin'.