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Michael: Morning, Mr Partridge.Alan Partridge: Yeah, Michael, I was just saying to Susan, bit of a job for you, unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again.Michael: [Very thick Geordie accent] Vandals, eh, Mr Partridge? Y'know, makes yeh wonder what it's all aboot.Alan Partridge: [Confused] Aboot?Michael: Aye. Y'know, vandals, y'know? What is it all aboot?Alan Partridge: Oh, about. Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie... people.Michael: [Speaking too quickly] Ye knaw, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night.Alan Partridge: What?Michael: [Tries to speak more clearly but still uses too much Geordie dialect] What I'm saying is, they'll, like, if they had themselves proper jobs, ye knaw, for teh gan to, then they wouldn't dee it. Y'know, a lot a' them's from broken hawmes.Alan Partridge: Sorry, Michael, that was just a noise. All I got there was "broken homes". And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. You, look at you, do you, uh... go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall?Michael: Aye. But it was different for me, like, cos, you know, ah was in the army when I was seventeen.Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. They taught you a trade. Minor repairs.Michael: Aye. That and killin'.

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