I'm Alan Partridge1997

[Jill has just smeared Alan with chocolate mousse, there is a knock at the door. Alan answers it, it's Michael]

Michael:
Is everything all right, Mr Partridge? I heard a bit of commotion.

Alan Partridge:
No, no, it's fine.

Michael:
Oh, right. Erm, do you know you've got chocolate on your face?

Alan Partridge:
Yeah, I've just been eating some mousse.

Michael:
Oh right. Fine.

[Alan wipes a little bit off his cheek and licks it. His face is still covered in mousse]

Michael:
Aye, well, you've missed a bit.

Alan Partridge:
I'll deal with it later.

Michael:
Right. Hey, it reminds me of this time, y'know, we'd camouflaged ourselves up cos we were doing jungle exercises, right, out in Belize, but...

Alan Partridge:
[interrupting] Michael, can we talk about this in the morning?

Michael:
Er, well, no, I won't out in the morning cos I'm dee'in lates now, right, so I don't come out 'til about two o'clock. So, you know...

Alan Partridge:
Well, you know,

[tries to do a Geordie accent]

Alan Partridge:
When the boat comes in. Er, er, booger off!

Michael:
Aye, OK.

[saluting]

Michael:
Message understood, sir!

Alan Partridge:
Stand down, at ease... you're not in the army anymore.