Joan of Arcadia2003

Joan:
[Joan sees Cute Boy God waiting for her] Hey, God! Get lost, I mean it.

Cute Boy God:
I know you think you mean it.

Joan:
You know, I'm going to give my father a full description and a composite drawing, you'll be booked before dark.

Cute Boy God:
Maybe he'll be too busy thinking of creative ways to ground you for mouthing off in French class.

Joan:
Are you spying on me?

Cute Boy God:
I'm omniscient Joan, comes with the job.

Joan:
Okay. So you're God?

Cute Boy God:
Yes.

Joan:
As in, God.

Cute Boy God:
Right.

Joan:
Old Testament, Tower of Babel, burning bush, Ten Commandments, God.

Cute Boy God:
Well I come off a little friendlier in the New Testament and the Quran, but uh, yeah. Same God.

Joan:
And I'm supposed to believe you because...?

Cute Boy God:
Because you have a feeling.

Joan:
No I don't. [Joan turns and walks away]

Cute Boy God:
How about you believe me if I agree to overlook that promise you didn't keep?

Joan:
[Joan turns back around] What promise?

Cute Boy God:
Let's see, that you'd study hard, stop talking back, clean your room, and even go to church, if I recall, if I let your brother live.

Joan:
[Joan stares in silence, stunned by what she's just heard] How did you know about that?

Cute Boy God:
Omniscience, look it up.

Joan:
So you let my brother live, and now you're here to collect?

Cute Boy God:
No, I don't bargain. That would be cruel.