Keeping Up Appearances1990

[first lines]

Hyacinth:
Is that the water board?

Hyacinth:
Then I'd like to speak to someone in charge. My name is Bouquet.

Hyacinth:
Yes, I'll spell it. B-U-C-K-E-T.

Hyacinth:
No, it's Bouquet. I want whoever you've got there in a managerial capacity.

Hyacinth:
Well, it could be an emergency; I'm not sure, that's what I want to find out.

Hyacinth:
Yes, I'll wait.

Hyacinth:
Hello! No, it's Bouquet.

Hyacinth:
Nah, I didn't say it was an emergency.

Hyacinth:
Well, how am I supposed to recognize if it's an emergency? That's what I expect you to tell me.

Hyacinth:
What do you mean it's my water?

Hyacinth:
That's the very point. Is it my water? When I turned on my tap this morning it didn't look like my water. It's not as bright and sparkling as I'm accustomed to. It looks to me as if it's been used. Are you changing my supply? Because if you are I shall want a detailed explanation of where it comes from.

Hyacinth:
Ah, please don't take that tone with me. I expect my former water to be restored immediately. A bathroom with gold-plated taps is no place for you to be trying to off-load second-hand water. I must warn you, my husband is a power in local authority, a man at the height of his executive skills, and I shall have no hesita- Hello. [hits the switchhook several times] Hello! [bangs the receiver down] Upstart plumber.